Sunday, June 29, 2014

What Is "Living Beyond Ordinary"?

I wrote the post below in 2009 for my blog entitled "Living Beyond Ordinary".  I reread it this morning and felt it was worth reposting here.  Enjoy!
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As I thought about my post today, I asked myself, "What is living beyond ordinary?"

Living beyond ordinary is seeing every day as an opportunity. Lately, all we have been bombarded with is negativity: the economy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the housing crisis, etc. Even in the face of all those difficulties, the United States of America is still the most powerful, humanitarian, opportunity rich nation in the world.

It's time we stop looking at our limitations and not allow the dark "gloom and doom" image portrayed by the media at large to dictate our security. Yes, times are challenging but not impossible. Will it be easy? Heck no, but the struggles we overcome will make us that much more stronger and less fearful.

I say let's hold our heads up, roll up our sleeves and not wait around for a hand-out or someone to fix our situations.

Ordinary is blaming someone else for our personal struggles whether financial, physical, spiritual or otherwise; living beyond ordinary is accepting our situation, taking ownership and doing what we need to do to overcome it.

This is a new day, my new day to reach out to someone, feel the sun on my face, accomplish a goal, overcome a challenge, thank God for His mercy and love, and live beyond ordinary.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Aha...the Source of My Search


I thought about you today
Wondered what you would say
Not to the little girl you knew
But to the woman I am today

Would I make you proud
Would admiration shine on your face
Or remain longed-for expressions
Illusions fueling my life-long chase

I thought about you today
Memories...some painfully tough
Stirring emotions of not measuring up
Or feelings of never quite being good enough

I am grown now
Come into my own
Yet tears sometimes come
Over validation seldom known

I thought about you today
The reality quite clear
I longed for something you could not give
Sentiments that for you too were never there

My grief turned to sadness
For in that moment I knew
Admiration and pride
Were what you long for too

I thought about you today


This month the realization of one of my life-long dreams came to fruition, I earned my college degree.  The culmination of that accomplishment stirred up many emotions for me:
  • Elation
  • Gratitude
  • Humility
  • Pride (the good kind)
  • Confidence
  • Motivation
But in going through the pictures on my phone I came across this one of me and my dad and a sadness filled my heart.  It was that emotion that inspired the poem and led me to a revelation that my reliance on the validation from others is fueled by the absent acknowledgment and approval I sought from my father.

It is said the first step to recovery is admitting the problem...or something like that...well, this is me admitting it, now I am determined to move past it.