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Hello Miriam,
I was informed today by my employer that today would be my last day. I was laid-off due to “bumping rights of someone with more seniority”. As you can imagine it came as a shock.
I believe that this was definitely a God thing. I was sharing with my husband that I had made it my personal mission to work at this particular establishment; I had been applying for over 5 years. So when the opportunity came up it seemed like a perfect fit. It came during a period of confusion and uncertainty in my life, my degree coursework was really challenging in my last quarter, things with my VA client were getting weird, and I didn’t know what direction I would head toward after I graduated. I experienced my first anxiety attack, so I cried out to God and asked him to take over. He did, my VA contract ended and I felt a sense of relief that freed me up to focus on my education, which became manageable, and I started to get the prompting in my spirit about writing again. However, in my need to control, when the job opportunity presented itself I jumped at the chance to live out the goal I had been pursing for 5 years. It felt right, and then it didn’t.
Though everything seemed perfect, matching up with my undergrad studies, the people I worked with, the department I was assigned to, and the flexible, no-stress working hours, I never really felt like I belonged. At the time of hire the director asked if I were willing to commitment to the position for a minimum of a year’s time, he was concerned that I would find the position not much of a challenging as my skills and experience outweighed the responsibilities required, to a certain degree, and he wanted to make sure he got his ROI. I agreed.
When I started to recognize that this position was not where I was meant to be I pressed on, I wanted to honor my commitment. I will admit I was unhappy, not with the pay, the insurance, the people, the hours, etc., but with the knowledge that I was not where I fit. Yet, I pressed on praying and believing that God had a greater plan and if I stayed committed to my year God would reveal what was next.
So when I was called in to meet with the union rep and my supervisor and I was informed about being “bumped” I was flooded with both hurt and, again, relief! Nobody likes to hear that they are no longer needed or wanted, no matter the circumstances, I think I was especially hurt because I had made a commitment I was going to honor, yet it was not reciprocated by the organization. I felt dispensable, yet I knew that this was right. Although I was only employed with the organization for 3 months they offered me a reasonable severance package based on the length of my employment.
I am thankful for the assistance and resources I was offered, yet walking to my car I realized that I never want to go through that again! I want to control my own destiny and financial future (with God as my foundation, of course)! So I am now even more resolved to live intentionally and take this situation and turn it into an opportunity to work toward and create a life of purpose fulfilling the plans that God has for me, and I believe that includes writing.
So here I am today, the first day of being laid-off and I have a hopeful outlook. I am looking forward to my graduation ceremony next Saturday and to celebrating my accomplishment with my family and friends that evening with a huge party. I am also looking forward to taking a mini-vacation with my hubby next month before we celebrate my youngest son’s 21st birthday with another get together. Then hopefully by then this experience will be nothing but a positive memory of change and opportunity to be grateful for.
Well, I realize I got long-winded, but I just wanted to give you a glimpse of where I am. Although we’ve only connected a few times your insights and coaching have helped me tremendously in understanding my authenticity, thank you very much.
Many blessing to you,
